“You were there?”
Greetings and salutations from the sand, sun and surf of Cape Cod, Martha’s Vineyard and the raw, rainy, cold, cautious, cocooned and quite marooned island of Nantucket! Great to be with you on this gloomy, misty, foggy Monday morning, The Twenty-Seventh Day of April, 2020, broadcasting LIVE from these wet and windy streets of Ocean here in beautiful, quiet, ’socially isolated’ hub of Historic Hyannis.
AHOY!
This just in, on the heels of U.S. President Donald J. Trump making a fool of himself on Thursday of last week when he suggested his medical professionals and his administration use ‘ultra violet’ light, inside the ‘body’, combined with either injecting of ingesting Lysol or any deadly disinfectant therein to ‘take care’ of ‘dis COVID-19 ‘ting, indeed, not learning any lessons regarding the reality of his own insanity and ignorance, pleading the 5th if you will, by stating he ‘was being sarcastic’, groaning,
“…can’t you people take a joke?”
Instead of ramping up testing and tracking, he spent his week end “Tweeting” mean, nasty quips targeting journalists who dared raise a big red flag as to this president’s mental health, moral compass and overall capacity to continue to be the person holding the most powerful position on planet Earth.
Here are a few of the “tweets” that may have slipped through the cracks, begging the question,
“….is this man smoking actual CRACK?”
11:45 p.m., Friday,
“Dat Joe and Mika, ‘day don’t know nuttin’ and I will have my revenge on ‘dat horrible “Morning Joe” show on ‘dat commie MSNBC network, ‘dat I can tell ‘yous! ‘Cause my buddy Tommy “two talks”, Mussolini, distant cousin from ‘da old country’, yeah, from the old country, will set ‘dem straight! Remember ‘da “God Father”? I’m gonna make ‘em an offer ‘day can’t refuse, enough said. ‘Da people love seeing me everyday on ‘da TV, ’cause like me, most Americans spend all of ‘der time in front of ‘dis mind controlling, MK Ultra programming device ‘dat is slowly making people, especially Americans, even stupider and more hypnotized ‘dan ‘day already were. Did I just say ‘dat, oh $hit, ‘dis Executive tweet is LIVE so I can’t delete it. Dat’s why I get to use as many characters, more ‘dan 140, as I want. Because I am ‘da King! I am going to have a great press conference today, to quote Stewart Smalley, from SNL, via ‘dat rat Al Franken,
“I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and dog gonnit, people like me!”
Friday, Midnight;
“…and another ‘ting, Lysol is not da only disinfectant or poison we can use. “Fast Eddie” Fauci will be fired, ‘dat I can tell ‘yous, ‘dat dirty, little munchin’ rat! He undermined me from the beginning, he was only at one out of seven briefings, recently so I am gonna fire him because he is lazy and too competent.
So, ‘dis week end, I did some research on some of ‘da porn, I mean science sections of YouTube, yeah, I looked into some liquids and vapors ‘dat might just do ‘da trick in killing ‘dis virus and potential democratic voters at the same time. A two bird and rock ‘ting if you please. Strychnine is a good one, very effective, How about Hemlock? Green Mamba snake venom? Very deadly! How about large glasses of New Jersey swamp water? Not to mention ‘dat horrible lead filled city water of Flint, Michigan? It’s beautiful! You know ‘dat one of my dear family members, Dr. John Trump, may he rest in peace, was a Wile E. Coyote Super Genius, just like me,
it’s beautiful!
What, you got your Coreexit 9500, you know ‘dat dispersant ‘day used in ‘dat big oil spill in ‘da Gulf of Mexico? Dat stuff killed most of ‘da ocean creatures and a bunch of hillbillies to boot! Don’t you ‘tink it will do a great job with ‘dis virus? Plus, I know I can get quite a deal on ‘dat stuff. BP took a bath on ‘dat one! You know ‘da New York Times is saying nervous Republicans are seeing my ship sinking, even ‘da rats are leaping out of ‘dis failing, leaky, floundering boat…
Fuck ‘em.
I’ll show ‘dem all who’s boss.
Middle Finger crossed, raised and exposed with tyrannical authority!
I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I can’t ‘tink straight! Where did I go wrong? And don’t tell me it’s because I am the poster boy for ‘dat ten dollar word like narcissism, I love everybody, even ‘dat nasty Joe Scarborough, and ‘da rest of ‘dat crew, who seems like ‘day not only have it in for me, ‘day want my magic ring, my illusory power, my presidency.”
Sunday 4:30 a.m.:
“It looks like it’s going to be a blue wave election, ’dis massive crisis has defeated me and ‘dis sham of so called leadership. I will tell ‘yous ‘dis, if, and when I go down, Mitch McConnell is gonna go down with me. He is old news and it’s time for him to go. With friends like ‘dis, who needs enemies? So what if he defended me at times? He will save his own skin before he saves mine. I ‘tink, because of my performances in dese wonderful press conferences during the past few weeks, not only will I lose miserably, but so will old men like McConnell, who does less in a day ‘dan I do. And ‘dat’s saying a lot. I am a 40 percent president, and ‘dat means I am going down. But, for all ‘dat, some of ‘dese idiots with an “R” next to their name, like Marco Rubio of Florida, God Bless him, still holds my mantle and shines my shoes. ‘Dat won’t be forgotten.
I am tired, I ‘tink I am going to sign out now. Please tune in today to my ‘trash talk happy hour’ at White House press conference, I will do my best to make up more minds to fire my sad, pathetic a$$.
You were there?
Barbara?
Trump out!”
Have a powerful, pioneering, prosperous, prayerful week ahead folks!
PRESERVE THE WIDERNESS! Peace~M
