“pun”..dit…”non grata”.
Greetings and salutations from the sand, sun and surf of Cape Cod, Martha’s Vineyard and the great island of Nantucket! Great to be with you on this first day of December, 2010, and I wish to offer my deepest apologies to the writers of “The Daily Show”, with John Stewart, for the obvious discomfort felt by said writers, whom I have the highest respect for, including John himself, for he is feeling my pain that I and everyone for whom I speak for, unofficially, at MSNBC, NBC, CBS, ABC, CNN, and, dare I say FOX NEWS, when I again say that I apologize for the use and abuse of puns utilized for cheap ineffectual laughs, dumbing down the NEWS itself–for we all know that sick, nauseating feeling when puns are used to belittle our intelligence, integrity and intentions. My bad. However, it was a puuurfect segway into my new series on “try and spot the most insane broadcast in television today!” The whole purpose of this commentary. John, it will never happen again. But, I digress. I wish to offer to the late, great Leslie Nielsen a fond and fine farewell, for his humanity, in the form of humor and the gentle way that he brought that into ALL of our lives…may GOD’S SPEED be with you always dear sir! In his honor, I would like to quote the movie Airplane!, circa 1979?, verbatim, with a scene from just outside of the cockpit, where Leslie, playing a doctor, is speaking with a washed up pilot who is the only man who can land a hobbled plane in trouble, high over the skies of Chicago… AND ACTION! Pilot: “I know what you are going to say, so just save your breath.” Nielsen: “No, I don’t have anything to say, you’ve done the best you could, I mean, you really have, the very best you could. You can’t expect to win them all, but I want you to know something I’ve kept to myself all of these years, I was in the war myself, medical core, gone on late duty one night, when they brought in a badly wounded pilot from one of the raids, could barely talk, looked up at me, and, doc, he said, the odds were against us up there, but we went in anyway, I’m glad, the CAPTAIN made the right decision…pilot’s name was George Zip.” Pilot: “George Zip said that?” Nielsen: “Last thing he said to me, doc, he said, sometimes, when the crew is up against it and the breaks are beating the boys, tell them to go out there and give it all they got, and win just ONE for the Zipper…I don’t know where I’ll be then, doc, he said, but I won’t smell too good that’s for sure.” Pilot: “Excuse me doc, I’ve got a plane to land.” and cut, print, wrap… p.s., In the immortal words of Mr. Leslie Nielsen to whom we will ALL miss, “GOOD LUCK, we’re all counting on you.” p.p.s. After the plane lands safely, the “chief operating officer” on the “ground” says these very simple, yet profound words to said fellow pilot, after he successfully lands the wounded plane, “Ted, that was probably the worst landing in the history of this airport, but some of us here, including me, would like to buy you a drink and shake your hand…and Ted, I just want you to know, that when the going got rough….loneliness Ted, that’s the bottom line, I was never happy as a child, Christmas to you Ted, what does that mean? To me it’s living hell…do you know what it’s like when you fall in the mud, and get kicked in the head with an iron boot? Of course you don’t Ted, no one does, never happens, sorry Ted, it’s a dumb question, just skip that…municipal bonds Ted, talking double A rating, best investment in America…” Have a wonderful day folks and may that Airplane in the sky take you, dear Sir Leslie, to where you want to go… PRESERVE THE WILDERNESS! Peace~M
