“Private Investigation”
Greetings and salutations from the sand, sun and surf of Cape Cod, Martha’s Vineyard and the blue skied, golden sun led, brisk, beautiful, bountiful island of Nantucket! Great to be back with you and yours on this Twenty-Sixth Day of March, 2019;
Tuesday’s not gone, i’ts just getting warmed up…
Akin to Robert Mueller’s FBI report on your 45th U.S. president Donald J. Trump. Soon to be available to the public and although not filled with anything of value, it has been approved by a joke called the FDA for any kind of sleeping disorder your may have. That’s right, you too can flip through a few of these ‘remarkable’ findings regarding ‘collusion’ with Russia and ‘obstruction’ with regard to the 2016 election. Just a few of those mind numbing words and you will fall fast asleep, lo, perhaps going into a slight coma for a spell…
Sea Cape Cod has attained a portion of the actual rough draft of said report, before being edited by AI’s “Grammarly”, making literal sense of it? So without further adieu, we offer this gem for your reading pleasure. Have a nice week ahead folks!
To whom it may concern:
Hi! My name is Bob! I work for the FBI, once headed it, and it is my distinct displeasure to investigate one Donald J. Trump and his 45th U.S. presidency. Moreover, whether or not he colluded with Russia in the 2016 U.S. presidential election, and if so, if he, Donald J. Trump obstructed justice by covering it up.
He did.
But we don’t have enough proof of this fact, so we can’t say he did, or did not. In fact, we really don’t care one way or the other for this whole election process is just a big ruse to fool the American people that they still live in a Republic, not a kleptocracy. It’s those damn democrats that force our hand to act. Modern day democrats being the biggest cry babies since I don’t know when, politically correct to a fault, deeply, tragically misconceived indeed. Our two and half year investigation of this man goes much further than an ancient past elicitation called the 2016 selection of a new U.S. president.
We work at private investigations all the time. High treason is going on constantly and yet true patriots are often shot down by those who really run the show and pay our salaries.
I have no idea how I am going to turn this simple statement into a 66,600 page report to be released to said masses soon. That’s why we have “Grammarly”! God Bless AI brother! Not to mention those devilish algorithms that haunt our modern day existence.
If one doubts my intentions, just ask U.S. Attorney General William Barr about my work, he’ll tell ya! He’s a great guy, hell of a golfer.
Gotta go! However, I’m sure we’ll have plenty a more;
“private investigation” for ya!
Please credit English rock band “Dire Straits” for the title to this ‘important’ rough draft for “The American People”…
You guys are the best!
Have a nice day!
Love,
Bob.
PRESERVE THE WILDERNESS! Peace~M
