Bad Brad!
Greetings and salutations from the sand, sun and surf of Cape Cod, Martha’s Vineyard and the cloudy, windy, cool, cocooned and still quite marooned island of Nantucket! Good to be with you and yours on this Thirtieth Day of April, 2020, Thursday, broadcasting LIVE once again from famous Ocean Street in Historic Hyannis, a hamlet that should be hustling and bustling ‘at this juncture’, but alas it is as quiet as a church mouse, looking towards the beginning of the summer season with many a store front reading,
‘…sorry, but we’re closed’.
Good news for wildlife, trees, marshes, flowers and the salty, fresh air however;
“…far away from the things of man.”
.
That’s the big news lately in this ‘new normal reality TV show’ starring our very fine U.S. president Donald J. Trump, whose wonderful economy with words is enough to bring one to tears, as we await his next syllable with great eagerness. Indeed, “The Daily Show’, only on Comedy Central, put a montage of clips together of Trump mispronouncing words right and left, introducing people with names that do not line up with their driver’s licenses, and acting like the buffoon he truly IS.
Trump got the bad news about his poll numbers, internal and external, and they were not good. Apparently, his campaign manager Brad Parscale got an ear full yesterday and it went something like this…
Enjoy!
“Hey Brad, I understand ‘yous got some numbers for me, hit it!”
“Well, Mr. President, things don’t look so good in Florida, Michigan, Pennsylvania, New Hampshire and Ohio. In fact, even in Texas, Joe Biden is beating you by a point. Want more? Seniors are jumping ship due mostly to concerns over your handling of the corona virus and…”
“I’m gonna stop you right there you miserable little prick. I am ‘The Donald’ and I am not going to lose to fucking ‘Sleepy’ Joe Biden, ‘dat little skirt chaser! But who am I to talk eh? You listen to me Brad and you listen good, we are going to turn ‘dis ‘ting around, first in Arizona where I plan to attend an event at ‘da very spiritual spot of Sedona, where ‘day to ‘dem vortexes and such, who knows, it might even cure ‘dis virus ‘ting ‘dat has it in for me, ‘dat I can tell ‘yous! So what if I introduced people by names their mothers and fathers never dreamed of naming ‘dem? I don’t care Brad, don’t you get ‘dat by now? I care only about ME, ‘Da Donald’, a beloved household name ‘dat we all should be proud of, especially you Brad, my untrustworthy campaign manager! If it didn’t cause so much more bad press coming from ‘dat so called ‘country lawyer’ and commie talk show host Joe Scarborough, I would fire you on ’dis very spot. What day is ‘dis anyway and where am I? I am very angry Brad, very angry. My beloved Mar a Lago waits for me to return and yet I am stuck in ‘dis ancient dump called ‘Da White House’ going out of my fucking mind! On top of ‘dat, I am stuck listening to half wits like you and ‘dat moronic robot Mike Pence, drone on and on about ‘ramping up testing’ and ‘dat I should probably not do any more of ‘dese fantastically successful press conferences due to the fact ‘day are hurting me politically, not to mention taking away valuable time that could be spent taking a nice nap in my cabana in Florida. ‘Day say ‘dis ‘ting will come back even worse in the Fall, phooey! I don’t believe a word ‘dat rat bastard ‘Fast Eddie’ Fauci has to say, ‘dat dirty, little, back stabbing, rotten munchkin’! I hate ‘dat guy! I know I hate you Brad for bringing me all of ‘dis useless, depressing, defeating information about my political future! The only guy it seems I can trust is my great son-in-law Jared Kushner, who is like an angel to me, just look at ‘dat innocent face! He has good news for me and ‘dat is why he will be rewarded handsomely in the very near future. Plus, I give him high marks for calling our efforts in ‘dis virus ‘ting “A great American success story! You bet it is! “Dat I can tell ‘yous, it’s beautiful! I plan to gift him ‘da Trump Tower, even ‘doe financially it’s under water! God love ‘em, God love ‘em! But, you, Brad, you are on thin ice and I hope it breaks under your feet soon enough, you back stabbing, bad breathed, balding, ugly red headed step child! Oh, does ‘dat make you feel sad ‘dat you were adopted? and unloved? You are a disgrace Brad, and maybe we will be testing five million people soon, or later, who knows? ‘Da point is ‘dat it’s clearly out of my hands, my jurisdiction, my pay grade and my moral compass. I have said it once if I’ve said it a thousand times, I don’t care! ‘Day bought ‘der tickets, day knew what ‘day were getting into,
I say,
LET ‘EM CRASH!
Are you prepared to go to court? Because I am going to slap a law suit on your sorry a## real soon, ‘dat I an tell ‘yous! Now get the hell out of my office Brad before I give you a bloody nose!”
Have a nice day ya’ll!
PRESERVE THE WILDERNESS! Peace~M
