MSLSD?
Greetings and salutations from the sand, sun and surf of Cape Cod, Martha’s Vineyard and the hot, hazy, humid, humbling island of Nantucket! Great to be with you on this Eleventh Day of August, 2020, broadcasting LIVE from famous Ocean Street in Historic Hyannis, on a sultry Tuesday morning where we find ourselves in the third day of the third heat wave here in the great state of Massachusetts this summer, one in need of rain big time…
AHOY!
U.S. President Donald J. Trump leaked this recent exchange with MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” Scarborough, wherein, ‘The Donald’, speaks candidly to his old friend about several issues spoken about on said morning talk show of late, his favorite by the way, for as we all know, that particular show gives more attention to the president than any other network, even if it is negative attention. And as most children know, even bad press is better than no press at all…
Enjoy and have a super day!
President Donald J. Trump: “Yeah, Joe, how yous’ doin?”
Joe Scarborough: “Pretty good Mr. President, we really appreciate you tuning in and boosting our ratings, I think we do a pretty good job, what are your thoughts Hobson?”
“Did you just call me Hobson? Listen, Joe, I’m not ‘dat butler from ‘dat 1981 film “Arthur”, although I love Sir John Gielgud and Dudley Moore, I’m da Commander-in-Chief God Dammit! Yeah, so ‘yous gotta understand Joe, I’m walking a tightrope here, eh oooh! Nobody likes to hear all ‘dis negativity coming from you and Mika every day on your politically corrective shoes show! You callin’ me a liar? When have I ever lied? When Joe, when? You say I’m not doing enough to help da people of ‘dis country during ‘dis ‘Kung Flu’ ‘ting, really? I am working here Joe, real hard, and ‘dos rats like Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer can lick my snake skin cowboy boots! It’s dem Joe, dem, who can’t get a deal made with da Republicans ‘dats hurting all ‘dese good folks who are dealing with ‘dese massive manufactured changes in their lives due to again, ‘dis CHINA virus.”
“That’s all well and good Mr. President, but what about Russia? What about payroll tax deferrals that don’t help the common man, woman and child in this country? What about this fiasco with the post office and your desperate attempt to undermine the coming election?”
“Vladimir Putin and me, we get it Joe, do yous? Listen, if Russia wants to help get me reelected, who am I to decline ‘dat most generous offer from one of my favorite authoritarian figures in history? I just love ‘dat guy, he reminds me of a clean shaven shorter version of Joseph Stalin, he’s got chops! Unlike ‘dese weak democrats who, as always, whine and moan about kids going back to school safely, their mental health, not to mention the parents mental stability… ‘Dey bitch about people being out of work and not getting ‘dere unemployment benefits, give me a break! ‘Dere are plenty of jobs out ‘dere to be had, like ditch diggers! Take my fine golf club in Bedminster, New Jersey for example. Why, I was just walking by the bar ‘dis past week end and glanced up at one ‘dem bulletin boards where ‘yous can pin your business card up on, or pin up does signs with your telephone number on it, on tiny pieces of paper, yeah, you know, people lookin’ for work, and so forth… Yeah, so, ‘der was dis one ‘ting up ‘dere dat caught my eye, and I ‘tink it will be very helpful to da overall economy, mark my words. It simply read, “Homemade hazmat suits, real cheap, made in America, Making America Great Again”, please call Laura at…”, well, I won’t give out da number, but you SEA where I am going with ‘dis. It brought a tear to my EYE. It’s da new normal New World Order Joe! You gotta get creative and roll with ‘dis planned demic ‘ting, you know? Don’t let it get you down… I have not a clue what is going on and neither do you! It’s out of my hands, after all, I am just the devil’s apprentice, you know?”
“Mr. President, have you been drinking bleach? Injecting bright light sources into your body? That did not even make any sense. This country is in dire straits and you are handing out anchors to save drowning men.”
“I take offense at ‘dat Joe, I thought ‘yous were better than ‘dat. Hey, I get it, I’m the bad guy, I’m ‘da boogie man! Da one ‘does lousy democrats want out of office, but you have to admit, it’s been one hell of a ride so far hasn’t it? Never a dull moment, you won’t get ‘dat from sleepy Joe Biden, ‘dat I can tell yous! You never know what I am going to do, and ‘dat is what makes it so much fun for me, hey, I care about people, sure, members of my golf club for example, and to quote the late, great Ted Knight from ‘dat crazy funny movie “Caddyshack”, circa 1980, “I can guarantee you’ll never be a member here!” I’m just kidding, you can be my caddy any day Joe, maybe Mika can make drinks behind the bar and we can talk turkey over a couple of Cubans? Listen, Joe, I gotta run, keep up ‘da great work, I know a lot of people call your MSNBC network MSLSD, and I gotta admit, sometimes, when I wake up early in the morning after about three hours of sleep, I tune in to SEA you and Mika, Mike and Willie, and all ‘da rest of ‘dem, and I feel as ‘doe I am on an acid trip—’let’s go to Vegas!’ Yet you guys make me feel less alone and loved, even if ‘dat love is disguised as hate. Don’t count me out Joe, I surprised the country once, and I am confident, with Russia’s help and ‘dat ‘ting with the post office, and ‘dat odder ‘ting, ‘dat I will prevail come November. Don’t forget to tip your waitresses, eh oooh! Trump out!”
PRESERVE THE WILDERNESS! Peace~M
