Easter Bunny and the President…
Greetings and salutations from the sand, sun and surf of Cape Cod, Martha’s Vineyard and the lightened gray skied, temperate, towering, titillating, touchy island of Nantucket! Great to be with you on this Twenty-Fifth Day of March, 2020, Ocean Street’s quiet Thursday, a quiet seven a.m. morn’, with birds of all feathers singing their Spring song without concern, care or caution. Embracing this beautiful day holding promise for the future, for it is in them, and all wild children of earth, where OUR hope lies…
Buongiorno!
This just in to Sea Cape Cod, a leaked conversation between our very fine U.S. President Donald J. Trump, former game show host, real estate con man, general tool, yes, this exclusive exchange between the star of Easter, and the apparent “Commander-in-Chief.”
Enjoy!
E.B.: “Howdy high there “The Donald”, may I call you Don? Matters not, for you are merely a mortal human, where is I am a mythical, magical bunny who delivers, hides, paints and procures mystical eggs as well as candies for children of all ages, reminding all that Spring is the time of rebirth and regeneration, reset and renewal. Thankfully, with you in charge, it will be a season of regret, regression and rugged individualism, with you’re administration failing the U.S. citizenry in every way possible. And upon hearing of this deadly virus that is affecting so many of my customers, coupled with the FACT you are doing so little in defeating ‘it’, especially when you wish to open up the country ‘for business’ on my big day, well sir, I am incensed. I am angry, livid and truly pissed off! Excuse my rabbit anger;
What say you Donald Trump?”
D.T.: “Hey oooh! Easy there bunny rabbit roo! I have nothing but good things in store for this great country, I mean, why would I wish anything bad for these little people? They go to my casinos, they voted me into office, they made me even more famous with my hit show on TV called “The Apprentice”, that, ironically, was training for my current career today, they wear my sad, ugly, cheap red trucker’s hats, in fact I love ‘dese people, except for ‘dat Mitt Romney, jeez, I hate that guy and I wish he still had ‘dis virus, cause he is just another Senator who doesn’t die Easter eggs ’cause he’s a Mormon. What does ‘dat even mean? Mitt Romney is an enemy and I don’t care if he is negative or positive for COVID-19. Get ‘dat straight. And I can tell ‘yous ‘dis, I plan to invoke an executive order to ensure all the good Christians will pack the churches and shop, get drunk at your local watering hole, you know, like normal on ‘dat glorious Easter morning. Go back out to bowling allies, bars, restaurants, malls, parties, you name it. What do you say about ‘dat you beautiful big, furry, cuddly bunny rabbit?”
E.B: “Hate to break it to you Mr. President, but I lied to you, just like you have lied to the American people, and I dig that about you man! I am not the Easter Bunny, well, I am, but I suffer from schizophrenia, and my alter ego, perhaps my true self is far from what you may assume of said Easter Bunny, for my real name is Harvey. I am your imaginary friend who will help you in turning the U.S. into the epicenter of COVID-19, making sure, via your genius executive orders and incredible intelligence, many more people will die than have to. Your botched leadership will cost this nation not only it’s status as the only super power in the world, but many a fine citizen who dies a needless death. Don’t fear, for I will be with you, indeed, the giant imaginary bunny rabbit named Harvey is on the case, making sure, via dirty tricks, terrorizing and tainted taunting, you will retain your, with the help of the Russians, “the Russians?”, tragically faulted and failed experience as the President of the United States. Forget about the experts, your advisors, your so called friends and members of your family, you are mine now and you will do what “I” say!”
D.T.: “Thank you giant bunny Harvey for this sacred meeting. I know you are real, even if they can’t SEA you! You’re right senior rabbit, I don’t care what ‘they’ say anymore, like ‘dat rat New York Governor Cuomo. He is stealing the lime light from me with his well thought out, caring, compassionate, tough minded, logical and focused press briefings! It’s all about him, ‘dat I can tell ’yous! His intelligent, calm, collected leadership makes me sick to my stomach. I will not longer listen to what ‘dese experts on my staff, like ‘Fast Eddie’ Fauci, say, like ‘dis is some kind of a hurricane coming on shore. A metaphor ’dat horrible Joe Scarborough is spouting right now. Listen Joe, ‘dis ain’t no hurricane, it’s just a bad flu, and we don’t shut down the country because of a little rain and wind, after all, it’s just some morning dew…”
E.B., a.k.a., “Harvey” the imaginary rabbit, Trump’s senior confidant::
“Keep it up Donald! The storm is coming and we, the dark spirits, are all counting on you to nothing but resurrect the Republic for endless consumption and carelessness!”
Have a super day folks, stay safe, stay positive, stay healthy and stay afloat!
PRESERVE THE WILDERNESS! Peace~M
