Greetings and salutations from the sand, sun and surf of Cape Cod, Martha’s Vineyard and Nantucket! Very good to be with you on this Saturday morning, the last day of July 2010, as we are enjoying yet another beautiful day here in Osterville, with cool temperatures, comparatively, and plenty of sunshine…so come on down and visit! We’ll leave the LIGHT on for ya! In the immortal words of the creators of the cult television series classic “Monty Python’s Flying Circus”, “and now for something completely different”, I bring to you the words of Mr. Oscar Wilde at his home in London, England, circa 1895, courtesy of the late great Graham Chapman, John Clease and Michael Palin and the rest of the crew from that ageless comedy team at Monty Python…enjoy. AND ACTION: His “majesty”: “My congratulations to you Wilde, all of London is talking about you.” Wilde: “The is only one thing worse than people talking about you, and that is people NOT talking about you.” (uproarious laughter from the gathering of Oscar Wilde, his two rivals, James McNeil Whistler and George Bernard Shaw, along with the rest of the flunkies at the palace that night). His “majesty”: “Very witty, yes, very witty…” Whistler: “There is only one thing worse than being witty, and that is not being witty…” (view of Wilde’s obvious displeasure at his friend’s laughing at him at his expense) Wilde: “I wish I had said that…” Whistler: “You will, Oscar, you will…” (Wilde, obviously attempting to gain back the upper hand in the game of wit and words, sparks this one off), Wilde: “Your majesty, have you met James McNeil Whistler?” “Yes, we play squash together.” Wilde: “There is only one thing worse than playing squash together, and that is playing it by yourself…” (crickets) Wilde: “I wish I hadn’t said that…” Whistler: “You did, Oscar, you did…” His “majesty”: “Right, should we go over to the palace now?” Wilde: “Your majesty is like a big giant donut, with cream at the top.” “I beg your pardon!” Wilde: “um, ah, it was one of Whistler’s.” Whistler: “I never said that,” King: “Yes, James you did.” Whistler: “What I meant to say, was that, like a donut, your arrival brings us pleasure and your departure only makes us hungry for more.” (laughter, with Wilde visibly upset) Whistler: “Your highness, you are also like a stream of bat piss…” “what!?” “It was one of Wilde’s, it was one of Wilde’s”… Wilde: “It soddening well was not, it was Shaw.” Shaw: “what I merely meant, your majesty, was that you shine out like a shaft of gold, where all around is dark.” (mild laughter and recognition) Wilde: “Your majesty is like a dose of the clap.” Whistler: “yes, before your arrival, pleasure, and after a pain in the dark.” “WHAT!?” disclaimer: substitutions for Mr. Oscar Wilde, James McNeil Whistler, George Bernard Shaw and “His Majesty”, can be (and are) made with the likes of George “W” Bush, “Dick” Cheney, Andrew Breitbart and Glenn Beck…not necessarily in that order. Good night Salt Lake City, don’t forget to tip your waitresses! Stay classy p.o.h.n.! We love YA! GOD’S SPEED to the GULF. Peace~M
July 31, 2010
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