Greetings and salutations from the sand, sun and surf of Cape Cod, Martha’s Vineyard and Nantucket! I hope you are well and safe wherever you are this morning, as, at the risk of sounding like a broken record, the sun did rise once again, in spectacular fashion, a big orange ball of light coming up over Hyannisport and the Nantucket Sound…one of the most beautiful spots on planet earth–along with Dowses Beach, Osterville, Massachusetts. Yesterday in Washington D.C., at a House oversight hearing, the grilling of Tony, “I am the Walrus,” Hayward, of bp fame, took place. Much to his surprise, he found a fond follower of the oil industry–a friend, a groupie if you will. Joe Barton, a congressman from Texas, made an ass out of himself in the hearing when his turn to speak to the CEO came about. Instead of transcribing what was actually said, I thought we could take another take on it, read between the lines, making it better and more accurate for everyone involved. and action: Barton: It is so wonderful to speak with you today Mr. Hayward, can I call you Tony? Any hootski, I was just going to tell you how awful I felt about the way the President of the United States, who represents the none of “our” people, treated you and your chairman–shaking you down for billions of dollars to clean up a mess that was probably not even your fault. Perhaps it was an act of God, and therefore, the private company should not have to pay the poor fisherman who have lost their ability to fish because the water is now a poisonous glob of goo– I think we all agree the tax payer should pick up a big portion of the cleanup costs. I agree with my friend Rush Limbaugh who claims that this is a “slush fund” created by Obama and his henchmen. Further, my colleague and dear friend Michelle Bachman agrees with that premise, and further to that, this acts as just another “government takeover” of the oil industry, an industry that has given so much back to the world on whole, destroying other natural wonders as well, such as Chevron’s rape of the pristine and ancient rain forests of Ecuador. I hope you received my resume and I look forward to fleecing America with you in the coming years. Again, I am so sorry about our President and his uppity ways. We are embarrassed for him. The “party of hell no” stands by you 110 percent, and like an elephant, we are faithful to ignorance, hate, fear and violence by that same percentage point. Would you care for a scone?” Tony Hayard’s response: While I thank you for that kind statement, I must insist that we were in the wrong and for that, “I am deeply sorry.” Your friends in the republican party have been so good to us in the past 10 years, with caring and fun agencies like the MMS ( wink, wink-nudge, nudge), not to mention President Chen, I mean, Bush, as it was a pleasure working with you on these important projects that have no safety net, or technology available to the clean up a mess, as we were never asked to provide that “know how” to begin with. Thanks again to all of my buddies at Halliburton as well, we could not have done it without you!” Even after apologizing to the body and the American people for this off the charts insane collection of ill guided words, the strategists got what they were after, and so did the “man behind the curtain”, whom they all work for. For this was better staged than a 5 star movie, with the “party of hell no” about to go off the deep end, relinquishing what may have been left of their common decency, moral fiber and soul. GOD’S SPEED to the Gulf, all of the good people, sea creatures and marsh lands therein. Have a nice week end folks! Peace~ M
June 18, 2010
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